Other Strategies for Managing Stress and Change - Page 2 of 2

In The Horse Whisperer, Nicholas Evans tells how a very skillful horse trainer worked with a particularly difficult and obstinate horse. At one point, as a drastic measure, he forced the horse, Pilgrim, to lie down . The horse trainer then told the owner to stand on top of the horse. She didn't want to do it but she did, with tears streaming down her face. When the trainer told her she could get down, she protested that what they had both done was cruel and humiliating to the horse. The trainer said, "No, it's not cruel. He had the choice to go on fighting life or to accept it." The owner insisted that the horse had no choice.

But the trainer, who cared deeply about horses and understood them well, went on to explain, "He did. It was hard as hell, but he could have gone on making himself more and more unhappy. What he chose to do was to go to the brink and look beyond. And he saw what was there and he chose to accept it. What just happened to him, lying down like that, was the worse thing he could imagine. And you know what? He found out it was okay. Even you standing on him was okay. He saw that you meant him no harm. The darkest hour comes before the dawn. That was Pilgrim's darkest hour and he survived it."

A very effective techniques for coping with unwanted, unexpected, unchosen, or particularly difficult change is the "worst-case scenario." There are a number of variations on this technique; but the basic process is this:

Imagine the worst possible outcomes of the situation. Would you die? Would someone else die or leave you? Would you lose your job, your home, your family, your friends? Would you be humiliated? Would your professional reputation be damaged?

Think about how you could cope with each of these worst-case possibilities. Could you get ready for them? How could you make the best of an awful situation? What could you salvage from the mess? Who could you turn to for help and support?

Imagine yourself successfully working through each of these possibilities. Then proceed with your life. Do whatever is possible to prevent calamity and move towards a successful outcome.

Maybe the worst will never happen. Maybe it will - and you will find that you can live through it and come out on the other end stronger and more self-confident.